Gaming News:
Quake Wars Finally Released
Quake wars was released early in October and seems to have exploded on the scene. The game is relatively bug free with the exception of server wide lag issues that reportedly stem from the Quake Wars master server.
The game is an online first person shooter that pits decrepit humanoid like aliens, The Strogg, executing an invasion of earth to raze its resources and life forms. The human military the GDF is the worlds last line of defense. Both of the races offer a different playing style, the strogg have technological shields and the ability to create remote spawning locations while the GDF have superior ground vehicles and more powerful rifles.
The game is a type of role playing first person shooter, where you have a role to play to help your team win. If you perform the duties required in your role you will gain more experience points and level up faster.
Copies are available in your local gaming and retail stores.
Starcraft II Announced
 Blizzard has announced the long awaited release of the second most popular pc game of all time and the most popular real time strategy game to date. The original Starcraft was released in 1998 and revolutionized the real time strategy genre which was to that date, always a two race/two army contest. Starcraft introduced a third race and an ease of play that satisfied hardcore gamers and newecomers alike with the ability to micro manage or macro manage your units.
In 2007 Blizzard finally announced Starcraft II. While details of the game are still sketchy they did announce that there will not be a fourth race, instead they decided to make the three races even more diverse. A rough gameplay video of the new protoss units has been released the game itself is still a year or more away from release.
Fallout 3
 Fallout 3 is being developed by Bethesda studios, the same makers of Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. It is the long awaited release of one of the best franchises of role playing games ever. The game is expected to be released sometime between December '07 and February '08.
The basis of the story taken from the fallout official website is:
Vault 101 – Jewel of the Wastes. For 200 years, Vault 101 has faithfully served the surviving residents of Washington DC and its environs, now known as the Capital Wasteland. Though the global atomic war of 2077 left the US all but destroyed, the residents of Vault 101 enjoy a life free from the constant stress of the outside world. Giant Insects, Raiders, Slavers, and yes, even Super Mutants are all no match for superior Vault-Tec engineering. Yet one fateful morning, you awake to find that your father has defied the Overseer and left the comfort and security afforded by Vault 101 for reasons unknown. Leaving the only home you’ve ever known, you emerge from the Vault into the harsh Wasteland sun to search for your father, and the truth.
The difference with the previous fallout games is it wont be turn based, it will be much like the style of Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. However, it will allow you to pause the game during combat to target specific body parts much like its predecessors had. Its also going to be an open ended game letting you have multiple choices of how your character will develop. It looks as if fans of the series won't be dissapointed.
Movie News:
Chronicles of Riddick 2: Underverse
Vin Diesel has announced that he will appear in Chronicles of Riddick 2: Underverse, which is stated as being "in development"
Diesel has starred in the underground hit, Pitch Black and its sequel Chronicles of Riddick which were released in 2000 and 2004 respectively. The movie will most likely follow the story line at the end of the Chronicles of Riddick where Riddick takes control of the armies of the underverse.
In an interview with Diesel, this is what he had to say:
"My God. You know, now that you said that... I haven't... Right before I did 'Riddick,' I would look in the mirror and I'd see two blue eyes staring back at me. So I haven't seen that for a while. [laughs] But it's coming. It took me five years to make 'The Chronicles of Riddick,' and [I'm] very precious about it. It went through many, many, many writers. Hopefully it won't take five years for the next one. But when I was in the process of creating this mythology for 'Chronicles of Riddick,' the idea was to create a story, a trilogy, that would start at the end of 'Pitch Black' in the same way that 'Lord of the Rings' is a trilogy that starts at the end, essentially, of 'The Hobbit.' So I wanted 'The Hobbit'... I wanted 'Pitch Black' to be 'The Hobbit' to 'The Chronicles of Riddick.' I wrote a storyline, essentially, that covered three pictures, so where Riddick goes in the next two pictures is already mapped out. It's not in script form, but it is being all developed, and it is going to surface when you least expect it."
National Treasure 2
 National Treasure 2, also known as National Treasure: Book of Secrets centers around the assasination of Abraham Lincoln.
John Wilkes Booth, who was a well known wealthy actor was named as the one who assasinated President Lincoln. He fled the scene and apparantly died in a fire, however some also say he died an old man, escaping the fire using a double to make them think he died. The reason for Wilkes assasinating the president wasnt apparant until two years after the assasination when a piece of evidence, Booth's diary was released from custody by the government. Inside 18 pages were missing, and the movie revolves around those missing diary pages.
As of the latest news, the majority of the cast from the first is in the sequel, with addition of Helen Mirrin and Ed Harris, it is directed by Jon Turteltaub. The movie is slated to be released in December of 2007.
War
 War is a movie about an FBI agent out for vengeance against an assassin known only as Rogue.
Sure the plot sounds a little thin but the mix of Jet Li (as Rogue) and Jason Statham (as Jack Crawford), two of the most bad ass action stars of our time, this movie will have to be a blank screen to not be entertaining.
The trailer has everything you'd expect explosions, gunfights, and fast paced martial arts. As long as director Philip G. Atwell didn't try to make two action stars go "art house" this movie should be worth your time and money. The movie is being released on August 24th.
Written by: Lee Anthony Smith and Gregory J. Bradley
Trailer at:IMDB Trailers
Wolverine
 Wolverine is a spinoff of the X-Men movies centered on, as if you couldn't guess, Wolverine. It delves into the history of Logan and how he became the hero he is today.
The movie already has Hugh Jackman, the actor who played Wolverine in the first three X-Men movies signed. Brian Cox who played William Stryker in the second movie is rumored to be in negotions for the picture. The plot is that Logan, who's girlfriend is killed and blames Victor Creed aka Sabertooth. So Logan goes through the mutant-x program to seek revenge on Sabertooth.
The movie is being directed by Gavin Hood who up to this point has only directed one recognizable film to people who follow the cinema, Tsotsi. He is a relatively unknown but has raked in a lot of awards for his films.
The movie is expected to be released in 2009, and is written by Stan Lee and David Benioff.
SBR Columns
Punk's World of Mayhem
January 04, 2008
Election Update
Just to bring you up to date on the candidates for the US presidential election here is a breakdown:
Democrats
Obama- still black and coked out looking
Clinton- Still suspected lesbian
Biden- still thinks he has a shot
Dodd- recently named worlds largest double chin
Edwards- filthy rich closet republican
Gravel- still old
Kucinich- insane
Richardson- his face makes babies cry
Republicans
Giullani- still milking 9/11
Huckabee- still really Baptist
Hunter- kicked out of the club for having less than a quarter mill. on hand
McCain-closet democrat
Paul- looks more insane than Kucinich
Romney- filthy rich with eight wives
Tancredo- can heal you by punching your face on TV
Thompson- laughed at because he has less money than Hunter
January 03, 2008
We don’t like your kind ‘round here
In an attempt to keep New Yorkers where they belong the Bucs have tried to limit ticket sales to Florida residents for Sunday‘s playoff game against the Giants. Of course this got the goat of New York State Attorney Andrew Cuomo, who complained to Ticketmaster and threatened legal action. Cuomo claims the residency restriction is unconstitutional and also raises discrimination questions. Ticketmaster fell like a deck of cards removing the restriction the same day Cuomo called then promptly pointed a finger at the Buccaneers. The Bucs have said they received requests from out of state fans so they are cooperating.
Jeff Kamis the Bucs Director of Public Relations said there are 500 tickets left, they will be available to out of state buyers.
January 04, 2008
Hell has frozen over
Florida is frozen, I finally get to bang the hot bartender at Eddie’s! An arctic air mass has moved over Florida in last few days. The overnight temperatures have come close to record lows, forcing me to stand outside with aerosol cans begging global warming to speed the hell up. Hard freezes in most of the mid-state counties have farmers scrambling to protect their crops from freeze damage. One large Tampa area strawberry farm has already lost an estimated $750,000 worth of crops due to a water pump failure Wednesday night, when temperatures were in the mid-twenties. A warming trend is supposed to start on Friday. So I can point and laugh again at you Yankees freezing your asses off during the weekend.
July 23, 2007
Florida- Teeing Off
A Pasco county man decided to honor the Scottish sport of golf by getting drunk, taking a nine iron and practicing his swing not on the greens, but on the side of his girlfriends head.
According to the St. Petersburg Times, after an all night bender Rachel Smyth was making her boyfriend, Phillip Spears, some pasta around 8 a.m. when he proceeded to attack her up side her head with a beat up MacGregor golf club that looked as if it belonged to Ike Turner.
Smyth asked why he hit her to which he reportedly said I hate everything! He then hit her in the head again as she tried to leave the kitchen. Spears smoked a cigarette while he had Smyth sit at his feet as he hit her once more. Later when she felt light headed Smyth walked to a nearby firehouse, from there she was taken to the hospital. Spears is being held without bail at Land O Lakes jail
| Dilly's Conspiracy Corner
The catholic church is extremely nervous that the Harry Potter book series will soon be more popular than the bible. Over 300 million copies of the Harry Potter series has been distrubuted so far, and by the end of the decade experts believe it will be closing in on one billion copies. The church fears that children know more about Harry Potter than they do about Jesus. Sources have reported that church officials, with support of the British Parliment are going to declare the Harry Potter series a work of the devil. They hope that this declaration will rally their base to burn enough copies of the book that it will deter children from reading it.
Thomas the Tank Engine Derails
August 16th 2007
On August 15th on the island of Sodor Thomas the Tank Engine derailed killing at least 42 of his passengers. An additional 37 people were injured, seven of those are in critical condition. Apparantly the tracks were not maintained and a broken switching station was the cause of the derailment.
Up until that point the island of Sodor had no deaths with the exception of Sir Topham Hats first wife who died of an accidental sledge hammer to the head. Sir Topham Hat was investigated but it was found it was an accident after all. She fell on the sledge hammer three times.
The accident could have come at a better time with Thomas the tank engine is due to be decomissioned in the coming months due to his age and his inneficiency. It seems that because of the coal burning emissions Al Gore has been to Sodor several times in an effort to get all of the coal burning steam engines decomissioned. Sir Topham Hat said in an interview recently, "There is no link between our coal burning engines and any health risks." During that interview he seemed to be very cross. However, recent studies on the island show 43% of its inhabitants show some sign of respitory problems with an additional 8% who have some sort of lung cancer.
Services for the victims of the great Sodor derailment will be held at Tidmouth sheds on August 19th. A candle light vigil will be held on the 18th for the injured victims.
Skinny People Sue Weight Watchers
Heavy people beware, a group of thin people are suing the weight loss giant Weight Watchers claiming they will have no one to look at to keep themselves thin if Weight Watchers has anything to say about it.
The lawyer for the thin people, representing Scheister and Scamartist, Ian M. Sueveryone stated that the thin people have a very good case. He claimed that without fat people how would thin people feel good about themselves? Additionally he said that the Weight Watchers methods are anti-American and might even have links with Al-Quaida.
A representitive of the fatties, Amy Bariatric stated, "This lawsuit is ridiculous, its not bad enough that they are thin and beautiful, now they need us to make themselves feel even better by looking at my cottage cheese thighs?"
The lawsuit is due to be heard by a judge next week.
Michael Vick In Deeper Shit
Needs hip waders just to survive
Michael Vick already under indictment for dog fighting charges is coming under new scrutiny. Apparantly sources inside the NFL have reported that Vick, who is nearing a guilty plea on the dog fighting charges, is also under investigation for a more serious charge.
Cat Fighting
Vick's latest problems stem from complaints from dozens of young females claiming Vick would pit them against each other in a no holds barred match to see who would get to dance on his personal pole. The cat fighting charges may hold no criminal penalties but may hold something much worse, the wrath of the National Organization of Women.
It is a well known fact that to mess with a group of women in the midst of menopause is not wise. The chairma...err person of the National Organization of Women, Titts McGee has stated publicly that staged cat fights are not accepted. When confronted with the fact that the women participated in the cat fights of their own accord, and asked wether the women share some responsibility in their own actions, McGee responded, "Women have been manipulated and controlled by men for generations. As a matter of fact I was manipulated over and over, and he even got it in my hair! Have you tried going out with 'manipulation' in your hair?!? HAVE YOU!!!!!"
*Writers note: McGee had to be sedated after this interview
Innocence
Vick has pronounced his innocence in these latest charges. His agent made a statement to the media yesterday on behalf of Vick. "Michael in no way has ever forced a woman to do anything she didn't want to. It's not his fault that these dumb broads can't help but to want some dark meat is it? They should be held accountable for their own actions and my client should be given an apology." No response from the NOW could be reached by press time.
Paper Clip Dart Tutorial
This is a tutorial on how to make a paper clip dart. Why you ask? It is just something fun to do when your bored. We have gotten them up to speeds of 35+ mph shooting them and rather accurate. Be careful though, we have experimented with these for quite a while. When shooting them never shoot at another person. Also safety eye wear is reccomended for new designers. If you have a poor design the rear wing could hit the rubber band shooting the dart back at your face. Follow these directions but feel free to make your own design, this is just a general tutorial to get you started on your path to your very own WMD (weapon of minor destruction)
Step 1:
For this project you will need two paper clips, tape, preferably clear, scissors and rubber bands.
Step 2:
Straigten out one paper clip, make it as straight as you possibly can, this will ensure the dart shoots straight later. Then take the second paper clip and straighten most of it out just leaving the inside hook which will be used to hook onto the rubber bands.
Step 3:
Tape the two pieces together very tightly, leave about 1 1/2 to 2 inches at the end untaped, this is where your wings will go. When taping the pieces together try to keep the top piece even and very close to the piece with the hook. Again this will ensure straight flight.
Results
This is what the two pieces should look like when you finished the first few steps. If yours looks different cut the tape off and try again. If it is straight your ready to proceed to the next step. If you want to adjust the frame such as the picture below step 4 with the results, this is where you would do that.
Step 4:
Tape several pieces of tape to the end of the dart leaving about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch at the end clear. This is where you will hold your dart when you pull back against the rubber bands. You can tape the dart one of two ways, in the quad wing design, or the dart type design with three wings. When you are finished taping you can shape your wings with the scissors. Experiment with different types of shapes to fit your style.
Results
There are many different designs you can choose, three of our more popular designs are in the picture to the right. Feel free to experiment and find a design that works for you. Please use caution when experimenting though, just because it looks cool dosen't mean its going to shoot right.
Step 5:
Pull the dart back holding the rubber band between your index finger and thumb. Aim at your target and release. You may have to experiment with shooting to get the feel of where the dart will go when shot. Feel free to make and use a sling shot for more accuracy.
Tip: Heavier rubber bands will give you more velocity.
Results
The dart will get penetration on most surfaces you shoot at. For more penetration you may sharpen the dart tip using stone such as a curb or patio. After sharpening a good idea is to neal the tip, heat it up then cool it very quickly to make it extra hard. Have fun and be careful.
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SBR Contests
In the first offical SBR contest, Cryo the Waffle Man, or as he has become to be known as Cairo the Egyptian Man because of Matrix's Stupidity has won. The contest was to design a banner for the website, as you can see it at the top of the site there is no need to post it again. However, here are the other entries and who made them.
Dilly's Entry:
Whubee's Entry:
Matrix's Awesome Entry:
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